A BETTER WAY OF LIVING
Enriching the Lives of Family Caregivers of Dementia Patients
Finding Strength in Christian Caregiving
At times, caregiving for a loved one can feel overwhelming due to endless demands and feelings of non-appreciation, which can leave us mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. It’s during these moments that we need to recognize our significance as Christian Family Caregivers and the meaningful role God has given us in His Kingdom. The care we provide to our family/friends is part of His divine purpose, reminding us to seek His strength in our struggles.
Created in His image, we have purpose and value. Though we may not have viewed caregiving for our loved one as a “calling” before, it is a vital role. Through our caregiving journey, we grow to reflect God’s image by seeking Him, having daily communication and relationship with Him, obeying His commands, and being guided by the Holy Spirit. As we seek and trust in God, our character transforms to mirror His. That is our foundation as Christian Caregivers.
The path of caregiving can often feel long and exhausting, but please remember that you are not alone. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it has purpose or value to anyone. I encourage you to continually look to the Lord as your Source of strength and encouragement. Isaiah 40:31 reminds us, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Lean on Him in moments of exhaustion and doubt, for He is faithful to sustain you. I know He sustains me, and you can trust in His unwavering support.
Having been a Christian Family Caregiver for some of my loved ones, I know firsthand the challenges and need for strength and ongoing support. As we begin this new year, I want to take a moment to reach out and express my heartfelt support for each of you on this journey of caring for others. Remember, you are part of a caring community that reflects Christ’s love. Your compassion, dedication, and selflessness are true reflections of His love in action. The commitment you show every day is valuable and makes a profound impact.
I sincerely hope that you will allow me to be one of your encouragers and cheerleaders as you serve. I will support you by offering encouragement posts, videos, and reels on social media. I am also offering a Bible Study designed specifically for Christian Family Caregivers of loved ones with Alzheimer’s Disease, focusing on practical ways to find peace and strength amid the challenges of caregiving. This is my way of giving you the lifeline that I needed when I was on my caregiving journey, helping you navigate the emotional and spiritual hurdles you face.
My prayer is that you will go through this caregiving journey victoriously and finish well—uplifted, renewed, and confident in the purpose God has called you to fulfill. Remember to celebrate the small victories, for they are signs of God’s grace at work. May you find joy in the small victories, comfort in His promises, and hope for each new day, trusting that God’s grace sustains you through every challenge. Trust in His unwavering support as you continue to serve with love and grace.
I look forward to connecting with you soon.
Please know that I am cheering you on and praying with and for you. May God bless you abundantly as you continue to serve your loved one with love, compassion, and grace.
Love and Blessings,
CAREGIVERS OF FAITH (PART 1)
Most caregivers will agree that being a caregiver to a loved one can sometimes be challenging, scary, and make us feel as though we are not enough to accomplish some tasks at hand. I remember experiencing days like that on many occasions.
It is not uncommon to ask ourselves questions like, “What in the world is going on?” “How am I going to handle this?” “What am I supposed to do now?” Do these questions sound familiar to you?
Various situations accompanied by those types of questions can stop us dead in our tracks, if we let them. The fear of not knowing what to do or of doing the wrong thing can render us immobile, both mentally and physically, if we allow it.
As Kingdom Caregivers, we know that a better way is available to us. That way is to walk by faith. A Kingdom Caregiver walks by faith, not by sight. Her actions accompany her faith. Faith is trusting that God’s Will will be done in my situation. Faith is knowing that God loves me and my loved ones, and He will never leave us alone or fail us. Faith is acting as if something is so, even when we don’t see it, so that it will come to pass, because we know what God said about it.
So, whatever the needs or dilemmas we face, we do not allow ourselves to be led by our emotions. We know that being consumed by negative emotions is not faith. We know that faith is not our feelings. We know that God’s Word is the authority, and it is true.
You see, it is because we know who we are in Christ that we know that we have an Advocate interceding on our behalf. His name is Jesus Christ. We also know that we have a direct and open line of communication to our Father God in the name of Jesus. So, we know how to take every problem, challenge, or dilemma to God in prayer. We pray without ceasing. We pray. God listens. God speaks. We listen. We listen to His still, small voice to lead and direct us to the answers that we seek. He will never let us down.
I encourage you to continue walking the path that God has laid before you. Keep going! Don’t stop. We must take action. I’m a witness that God will see you through every situation, no matter how large or complex. Choose to walk the path that God has led you to, no matter what it looks like or feels like. If a choice must be made over a specific spiritual principle vs. a carnal principle or your differing opinion, choose to be in spiritual alignment with God’s Word. We can do this when we walk by faith and not by sight. Be encouraged, dear heart. Things will work out.
LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO YOU!
OVERCOMING FRUSTRATION
Everyone deals with frustration at some point in life. As caregivers, the opportunities to feel frustration are many. Frustration blocks our progress! Frustration blocks our success! Frustration blocks our peace! We can’t really experience the beauty of peace when we’re all tied up and tangled up in frustration and torment!
We feel distressed, stressed, irritated, or annoyed when we’re frustrated. We can actually feel discomfort, pain, anguish, anxiety, despair, and torment. We can feel all types of emotions and stress. Our emotions can run away with us, which is not good for our body, mind, or spirit. We can respond to frustration in all types of negative ways. Can you relate? When we become frustrated, we can experience some warning signs to caution ourselves about negative talk or behavior. Let’s talk about a few of them.
DISTORTED
When we get frustrated, our vision can easily become distorted. We don’t see things the way they really are, but we see things as we think they are. We see things through the lenses of our perception rather than the way they really are. Therefore, we’re looking at things or people through our distorted vision.
When we get frustrated, our hearing can easily become distorted. We don’t hear things the way they were said. We tend to hear what we thought was said or what we anticipated hearing.
DISORIENTED
When we get frustrated, we can become disoriented. We lose our balance. We can easily make wrong steps, wrong decisions, wrong statements, and wrong actions. We can’t tell up from down. We lose sight of what is right and wrong. We can find ourselves acting out of delusions and emotions rather than truth and love. We can say and do things that can destroy relationships or opportunities or cause irreparable damage, where things will never be the same. We can even cause ourselves damage by walking the wrong way – not walking like Christ. Even though we’re frustrated and disoriented, there are still consequences for our actions.
DISTRACTED
When we get frustrated, we can easily become distracted. Our focus is solely on what has been the source of our frustration. We can become fixated on it. Oh, we can rehearse it, replay it, talk to it, ponder on it, curse it. We can become so obsessed with the source of frustration that we can’t focus on or accomplish anything else.
DISAPPOINTED
When we get frustrated, we can become disappointed beyond words. We can find ourselves in a state of utter despair, feeling helpless and hopeless. Our minds can run away with different ideas of how to change the outcome or accomplish the goals, only to talk ourselves out of it with all of the reasons it won’t work. That keeps us in a negative state of mind.
DISOBEDIENT
When we get frustrated, we can easily slide right into disobedience. We become disobedient to God’s Word. We can become disobedient to the Kingdom principles, rules, and guidelines that have been set before us, but we choose to do it our way. There will be a price to pay for disobedience.
Are these feelings like God? Are these feelings from God? Do these feelings serve my purpose in God? NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! Let’s see what the Bible has to say about it. Please read and meditate on the following scriptures.
Scriptures:
1 Corinthians 13:1-8 and Philippians 4:4-9
Application:
- Say a quick prayer: “Lord, help me respond in love.”
- Meditate on these scriptures before confronting someone.
- Write down your frustrations and look for ways to apply love.
- Practice gratitude to shift your focus from aggravation to appreciation.
LOVE AND BLESSINGS!
CAREGIVING WITH LOVE
12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12 (NKJV)
37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40 (NKJV)
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 1 John 4:11 (NKJV)
These are foundational scriptures that can be applied to caregiving, emphasizing unconditional and unselfish love even when it’s difficult while caregiving. They remind us to prioritize God’s commandments over desires that don’t honor Him.
We are called to adhere to God’s ways, even if they differ from our own. It’s important to remember that His ways and thoughts are above ours. Therefore, we must pray and seek God’s guidance to align our minds and hearts with His. In the scriptures, we see that Jesus was displeased with those who chose not to provide for their parents but instead tried to make it look like they were giving everything to God. God is not fooled by our antics. He sees right through them and His Word stands. “Not my will but your will be done in my life, God!” This act of seeking God’s guidance is not just a duty, but a source of reassurance and guidance in your caregiving journey, providing you with the confidence that you are on the right path.
Even while He was on the Cross, Jesus was concerned about His mother’s well-being and that she would be taken care of. He even made arrangements for her care and welfare. He made the arrangement clear and apparent to His mother and His disciple, John. That is an example to us all. We are to make arrangements and resources for the care and provisions of our parents whether we are alive if/when they need it or we have passed on. We are to make it clear to our parents and their potential caregivers so that the parents will have that security and the potential caregivers will be aware and accepting of their responsibilities.
When we make decisions and take actions based on our own selfish will rather than God’s will, we can set ourselves up for disappointment and even disaster. God’s will in caregiving is to show love, respect, and compassion to those we care for, just as He has shown us. When we go against God’s will and instructions, we displease God. We enter into sin. We can become unfaithful, selfish, irresponsible, undependable, vengeful, and full of bitterness.
God has given us the Word and the roadmap to give love and live love. God is love.
First, He loved us so much that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Did you get that? Because God loved, He gave. He has shown us by example. He gave the most precious thing He had! His Son! His Son, Jesus, loved us so much that He was the Atonement for our sins and willingly gave His life so that we who believe, confess, and accept Him as Lord have a right to eternal life. When we submit to God through the Holy Spirit, God guides us in the ways of love, even when we may be hesitant.
We are to live the life on earth that God has instructed us to in His Word. We are to submit ourselves under the mighty Hand of God in every area of our lives. That includes caregiving. Read and obey His Word. Follow His example. Be open and sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in your caregiving decisions and duties. Pray and ask God to help you through the rough patches where your love walk does not reflect Him. Remember, God’s example is not just a guide, but an inspiration to emulate His love and compassion in your caregiving.
If our first impulse is not to demonstrate love in action, don’t submit to that temptation. Recognize the thought pattern and the condition of your heart. Pray and repent to God for having selfish, unloving thoughts. Ask for His forgiveness. Tell Him of your desire to be a loving caregiver. Ask Him to lead you and guide you along the path of love that is pleasing in His sight for that situation. Decide to be obedient to God’s Word and example. Walk it out step by step in your life.
AFFIRMATION (SAY IT):
I love the Lord, my God, with all my heart, soul, and mind. I love my neighbor as myself. I honor my mother and father, and my days will be long.
ENCOURAGEMENT (BECOME AFFIRMATION; SEE IT; WALK IN IT)
Visualize yourself extending love to your loved one, daily reflecting God’s love in 1 Corinthians 13. Write down what you see. Now, walk that out.
Support for Family Caregivers of Alzheimer’s Disease Patients
I vividly recall the day we received my mother’s official diagnosis. After visiting various doctors’ offices, the day had finally arrived. The official diagnosis: Alzheimer’s Disease. We were silently heartbroken. I had suspected it for several months but was hoping against hope that I was wrong. Hearing those heavy words in the air was overwhelming. It really took my breath away momentarily. On the other hand, my mother was in complete denial on the outside. However, I believe in her heart she knew something was wrong. I felt overwhelmed, confused, stunned, and truly did not want to believe that it was true.
I did my best to comfort my mother and assure her from the beginning that we would always be together fighting this disease. I didn’t want to make her feel any sadder by the reality of what we heard. Yet, I didn’t want to ignore it, pretending it never happened. That day marked the beginning of me walking the tightrope of reality and compassion due to Alzheimer’s Disease. Those emotions and many more covered a significant part of our journey. Feelings of sadness, uncertainty about what to do next, overwhelming insecurities, and ongoing questions and concerns were always present at some point or another. Do you feel like that? Does this sound familiar?
Who do you turn to? Who can answer your questions? Who can really understand and empathize with what you’re going through? Where do you go for help? All of these questions are a real part of being a family caregiver. It’s because of my experiences that I have a very sensitive heart for family caregivers of loved ones diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease or another related dementia. My heartfelt desire is to connect with you and partner with you on your caregiving journey. No, friend, you are not alone. I know firsthand what it’s like to walk that road. No caregiver should ever feel that they have to do it alone, without support, encouragement, and someone who really “gets it”. I’m here for you.
I look forward to partnering with you and hopefully making your journey easier. Please connect with me on social media via my Facebook Page and Instagram, “A Better Way of Living.” There, I will do my best to provide you with the help, support, and encouragement that you may need. Additionally, my book about some of my caregiving journey, “I Can’t Believe This Is Happening To Me!” can be purchased in paperback or e-book format on Amazon. I look forward to connecting with you, soon.
Love and blessings to you.
Phyllis Wyrick
EMBRACING 2024 – WITH POSITIVITY AND RESILIENCE
IT IS A NEW YEAR!! WELCOME 2024!!
Dear Caregiver,
I hope this message finds you well and in good spirits as we embark on the journey of a new year – 2024. It is indeed a blessing to have reached this point, and I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge and applaud you for the strides you’ve made in your caregiving journey.
In the midst of the questions, uncertainties, and challenges that caregiving often presents, your resilience shines through. Your ability to navigate the complexities of the past year and arrive at the beginning of 2024 is truly commendable. Kudos to you!
As we step into this new chapter, I am curious to know your perspective on 2024 and the possibilities it holds for you. How do you envision the year unfolding, and what feelings do you harbor about the opportunities and challenges it may bring? These questions are not only for you but also reflections that I’ve been contemplating myself.
The lens through which we view the world matters greatly. Our mindset is shaped by how we interpret, perceive, and respond to the situations and events that unfold before us. Do we see solutions in the face of questions, find glimmers of positivity in less-than-ideal circumstances, and approach disappointments with grace? These responses influence our mindset and actions.
In the midst of challenges, let’s strive to find hope. In moments of seeming defeat, let’s count the triumphs. Instead of succumbing to exhaustion, let’s express gratitude for the strength and stamina we possess. Loneliness can be replaced by the anticipation of new connections and resources that may come our way in the coming months.
I propose a challenge to both you and myself – to be vigilant in how we receive, interpret, and respond to the happenings of 2024. Let’s break free from familiar patterns of thinking and responding, fostering openness and optimism to uncover the hidden gems and unexpected blessings that life has to offer this year.
Always remember: it’s all in how you look at it. How do you see what you see?
Wishing you an abundance of love and blessings in the year ahead.
Warm regards,
Phyllis
“HOW ARE YOU DOING?”
Is that a question that you hear a lot? Does anyone ever ask how you’re doing? Do people always ask about your loved one but not you? When you tell them how you’re doing, do they really listen?
Sometimes, it can feel like we’ve become invisible. “Hello! Does anyone see me? Does anyone care how I’m doing?” That’s when we know that its time to do something to focus on ourselves. We have to administer self-care to ourselves, daily. Even if its a little something for only a few minutes, do it. It is a must.
We must acknowledge that we are here and present today. Yes, I am here. I am important. I have purpose. My life may not look like I want it to at the moment, but I’m still here. The care that I give to my loved one is invaluable and precious. Although, my loved one cannot adequately acknowledge my service or express their gratitude, I know what I’m doing is valuable and appreciated, even if only appreciated by me. I value me. I value the extraordinary person that I am.
We must find peace in our spirit. As I always say, ‘peace of mind is a wonderful thing’. When we have peace within ourselves, it doesn’t matter whether other people are concerned about us or not. When we are at peace in our mind, body, and spirit then we feel whole, regardless the circumstances around us. Yes, the world around me may seem to be falling apart, but I know how to quiet myself and not let the chaos in. Maybe that’s a bubble bath, or listening to a special playlist, or a walk in the park, or prayer and meditation.
We must set our minds on brighter days ahead. Setting small goals for myself and accomplishing something daily does wonders to boost my morale. Oh, they may be very small things to others, but to me, they represent goals that I have achieved just for myself. That shows movement and progress. That makes me feel good and alive.
So, whether someone asks, “How are you doing?” or not, you will know that you are doing just fine. After all that you’ve gone through, you’re still here and present. Despite all of the sadness, grief, and gloom around you, you’re at peace in your spirit. Although, you may not have done all that you would like to do, you have accomplished some things that are important to you.
After all the stress and strain that you’re faced with daily, you’re still here! You’re still here and you’re doing fine! You’re better than you were yesterday and not as good as you will be tomorrow. Yes, you’re doing well! As always,
Love, Prayers, and Blessings
Phyllis
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
“I can’t believe this is happening to me!” That was the thought that played over and over in my head. I felt totally overwhelmed at the thought of providing care for my mother when I lived 750 miles away from her. After a short while, I accepted that this was happening to both my mother and me. It was up to me to find out what I needed to do and get started on the caregiving journey.
I want to help guide and support you if you’re having similar thoughts and feelings.
Please briefly answer the following questions in the comment box. I really would like to know your thoughts.
- What was your initial reaction when you found out about your loved one’s diagnosis and need for care?
- How did you handle that reaction? What did you do?
- How do you feel about caregiving now?
- In what areas would you like more information and support?
We welcome you to join our private online support group, A BETTER WAY OF LIVING SUPPORT GROUP! It is a private FaceBook group was created with YOU in mind; the family caregiver of a loved one with Alzheimer’s Disease/Dementia. The private online support group will be your safe place to receive love, encouragement, and support to strengthen you along your journey. It also convenient for you and available to you 24 hours a day. We will focus on topics that are important and beneficial to YOU. Please invite other family caregivers to become a part of the private FaceBook online support community, A BETTER WAY OF LIVING SUPPORT GROUP.
LOVE AND BLESSINGS.
CARING FOR YOURSELF
I remember when someone first suggested to me that I needed to use some of my time and energy to take care of myself. As a matter of fact, it was more than one person. Even my mother’s doctor recommended that I care for myself as well as I was caring for my mother. In his charming way, he said that it was obvious that I was taking excellent care of my mother. Despite, the Alzheimer’s she was doing very well, otherwise. Me, not so much.
After hearing others’ concerns over and over again, it finally sank in. I needed to take care of myself. I thought that I was. Ok, I accepted that they may have a point. But how would I do that? When would I have the time? It was taking all I could muster to take care of my mother and family on any given day. I remember feeling that that was just another thing to put on my ever-growing to-do list.
Have you thought about your self-care? Do you feel that it is a luxury that you just cannot afford right now? Can you imagine what self-care would look like for you? It may feel like you don’t have the time or energy to participate in self-care. Please remember that it is vitally necessary for your health and endurance as a primary family caregiver.
Caring for yourself every day must become a priority. Caring for yourself must be intentional. Caring for yourself must be a non-negotiable part of your life, now. Caring for yourself will allow you to readily embrace the moments of joy as well as the relentless challenges of caregiving. It will help you to be an even better caregiver. Caring for yourself will help you to be able to endure and not burn out from sheer exhaustion. Plan what you are going to do every day as an intentional act of self-care. You may consider some ideas for caring for yourself in the following suggestions to add to your own ideas.
Eating healthy, nutritious meals and snacks. If you are a constant snacker or emotional eater, try to make sure that you have more healthy food items and snacks to choose from rather than unhealthy ones.
Stay hydrated. Drink lots of water throughout the day. Switch it up with sparkling waters, flavored waters, etc.
Do some type of physical exercise even if its just stretches or walking in the house.
Take a long, hot bubble bath or hot shower with essential oils.
Take a nap.
Prayer and/or meditation.
Sit quietly for 10 minutes, deep breathing, while not thinking.
Watch a funny TV show or movie. Laugh!
Read a good book; even if only one chapter.
Go to the park.
Get a manicure/pedicure.
Get a massage.
If possible, go on a mini-vacation or even a stay-cation as often as you can.
Some of your self-care ideas may require some assistance from friends/family to give you a break. Ask them in plenty enough time and explain that this is very important to you and your loved one. Your self-care will enrich the lives of you and your loved one. Take good care.
A BETTER WAY OF LIVING 
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